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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514741">a friend in need</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgaydocrimes/pseuds/bgaydocrimes'>bgaydocrimes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead To Me (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dirty Talk, F/F, its just v gay okay, slight praise kink, takes place vaguely within s2 but no spoilers, this is fully just porn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:41:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,633</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514741</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgaydocrimes/pseuds/bgaydocrimes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jen’s insecure about her post-mastectomy body and hasn’t slept with anyone since Ted made her feel shitty about it. </p><p>Judy offers to help, because she’s selfless like that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judy Hale/Jen Harding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>313</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a friend in need</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>saddle up, y'all. it's porn.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It started because Jen was feeling vulnerable. It wasn’t a familiar color on her and it was a little bit disgusting to have feelings but she found herself next to Judy on the couch bringing up her big secret again for the first time since they had reconciled. That Ted hadn’t touched her since the surgery that guaranteed she wouldn’t abandon her boys like her mom did her. That Ted valued her tits over her life. That she was disfigured, disgusting, and just a little bit terrified of trying to sleep with someone now. She didn’t think she could handle another rejection. </p><p>Judy listened because of course she fucking did. Judy listened to everything Jen said, and she soaked it all in as if she could absorb Jen through her words. It was a little creepy if Jen thought about it. </p><p>“Maybe you need to ease into it, you know?” Judy mused, breaking Jen from her thoughts. </p><p>“What, go slow? How about a nice glory hole so I don’t feel like I’m fully putting myself out there?”</p><p>Judy just side-eyed her at that. </p><p>“I’m just saying, you clearly need to get laid. What about a complete stranger? Someone you’ll never have to deal with seeing again?”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘clearly’?!” Jen queried, bristling at the truth. God damnit she DID need to get laid. </p><p>“Ugh, Jen!” </p><p>“All right, all right,” Jen sighed, “I guess a stranger would be best but I think I’ll have to become celibate for life when <em> they </em> reject me.”</p><p>Judy groaned, leaning back against the arm of the couch and swinging her legs comfortably into Jen's lap. </p><p>“Who’s going to reject you?"</p><p>Jen looked at her pointedly, settling her arms atop Judy's crossed ankles.</p><p>“I mean besides him. Look at you, I’d pay you to take your shirt off.”</p><p>Jen choked on a laugh and some Pinot before exaggeratedly winking at Judy. </p><p>“Honey I am open for business.”</p><p>“Hey if you ever want me to break the ice, I’d be happy to be your first post-titty fuck.” </p><p>“Aw, really? That’s kinda sweet. Thanks, Jude.”</p><p>“Anything for you, darling,” Judy teased. </p><p>It’s an innocent joke and they laugh it off but that night in bed it’s all Jen can think about. She’s never considered it before, but it would be so nice to just get that first time out of the way. Even at the grief retreat, so close to getting laid, she knew she wouldn’t be able to take her shirt off with what’s-his-face who couldn’t stop talking about his dead wife. She's not even sure why it's still bothering her; she honestly feels ready but the longer she goes without someone touching her the bigger a hurdle it seems to be. </p><p>She wonders if it would be weird, letting Judy fuck her. They’re best friends and it would seem like the kind of thing best friends could do for each other, right? It might be awkward for a moment but they’d need to be a little drunk first so it would be easier to ease into a kiss. She imagines laying in her bed like she is now but with Judy above her. Then her hand between jen’s legs. Mouth on her scars. Jen gasps at the visceral physical reaction her body has at the thought. </p><p>Well, okay. </p><p>.</p><p>It takes months for the topic to come up again. </p><p>Jen can’t pretend she hasn’t thought about it way too many times, and her vibrator is truly just not doing it for her anymore. But she hasn’t slept with anyone besides Ted in nearly two decades and she doesn’t even remember what it’s like to find someone at a bar to fuck. She’s certain at this point that if she doesn’t find a way to get over this hurdle that she’ll end up celibate for life, and there’s no way she’d get through that without murdering someone else. Fuck. </p><p>“Did you mean it when you offered to sleep with me?”</p><p>Jen lobs that grenade right before taking a deep drink of Cabernet, hiding her face in the glass for a suspiciously long time afterward. </p><p>“Ye- uh, yes. I did say that. And I did, mean it.” Judy fumbles over her words in evident surprise, clearly expecting Jen to never have brought up the topic again. </p><p>“I’ve just been thinking I really do need like, a trial run of fucking a stranger. I have to just get it out of the way.” She groans in exasperation. “I like, really need to get laid, Judy.”</p><p>If Judy has any further reaction to Jen’s words she does a great job of hiding it because her face and response are nonchalant. Like she regularly agrees to fuck her best friend just to help her out. No big deal. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>They decide to do it this weekend. The boys will be at Lorna’s and they’ll have the house to themselves, as well as three new bottles of wine to choose from. Jen knows she’s way too high strung to do this without being pretty drunk beforehand and she figures Judy will appreciate a little liquid courage as well. </p><p>.</p><p>Friday night finds them still sitting side by side on the bench of the breakfast nook after making it through a questionably delicious kale soup (Judy’s doing, obviously) and a bottle and a half of wine. It’s awkward as fuck, and Jen knows that’s because you can’t just schedule casual sex with your best friend and expect everything to feel normal the day leading up to it. But shit, she’s nervous. </p><p>“Treat me like a stranger?” Jen blurts, realizing the lack of context may be confusing but there’s no going back now. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I want to be strangers. I need it to feel like it will in real life.”</p><p>Judy looks at her, indecipherable expression on her face as she catches up to Jen’s train of thought. </p><p>“Sure, why though?”</p><p>“I don’t want us to hold back or overthink because we feel like it’ll be weird between us. I need it to feel real. You’re you and I’m me, we just don’t know each other. Just… treat me like anyone you met at a bar, you know?”</p><p>“How did we meet?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Like, we met in a bar and we’re having a one night stand but what’s the story? Did you come on to me? Did I buy you a drink? Who’s going to make the first move?”</p><p>“Oh my GOD, Judy. How about we just kiss and you can go from there, I’m not gonna come up with a whole fantasy scenario!”</p><p>Judy’s just staring at jens lips a bit entranced, like it’s finally just hit her that she’s about to get to taste them.  </p><p>“Yeah I think I can do that.”</p><p>Judy turns to the side and without pause swings a leg over Jen’s on the bench so she’s straddling her and they’re finally facing each other, inches apart. Jen’s next breath is a sharp inhale because, okay, they’re doing this. Right now.</p><p>They kiss, tentatively at first but then Judy’s slipping Jen some tongue way sooner than she would have expected. Judy’s eager. And she might just be imagining this but Jen thinks she can feel Judy’s hips pressing down against hers in what’s becoming a rhythm. Purely on instinct, her hands slide down past a tiny waist to Judy’s ass where they grip tight, pulling her deeper into a rocking rhythm. Judy lets out a startled moan into Jen’s mouth and Jen feels her entire body respond. </p><p>Oh fuck, Judy is hot. </p><p>She feels her face heat at the thought that this isn’t a stranger at a bar, it’s Judy - <em> her </em>Judy. And she’s here straddling Jen at the table where she serves them breakfast every morning. Jen’s senses are engulfed. Ears assaulted by sounds she never thought she’d hear; Judy letting out breathy pants each time she breaks from their kiss; the scent of incense and gardenias that’s somehow always clinging to her skin. Head spinning from a combination of wine and desire, Jen realizes she is way too turned on already and they need to take this to her bedroom, now. </p><p>Judy agrees and they stumble a little drunkenly up the stairs, stopping to kiss and giggle like fucking sorority girls every few steps. They manage to make it to the master bedroom and Jen is a little relieved when they don’t turn the lights on, instead moving into the room and immediately towards the bed. Jen sits back when her knees hit the mattress and pulls Judy into her lap again because she’s still reeling from the memory of Judy grinding against her downstairs. She immediately sobers a bit as Judy’s fingers start toying with the hem of her oversized shirt but Judy senses the shift and pulls back, eyes softened, pupils huge and hungry, drinking Jen in. Jen feels like a piece of meat on a slab being regarded like this and she doesn’t hate it. </p><p>“Is this okay?” Judy asks, running her fingers along Jen’s stomach, tickling and teasing. </p><p>Jen takes a breath. This is it, because she’s not wearing a bra under Ted’s old shirt and once it’s gone there’s no going back. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Definitive. She’s ready. Well, she may never be fully prepared but if she’s going to be able to do this with anyone it’s gonna be Judy. Judy makes her feel… ready. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Judy leans in for another soft kiss before pulling the old tech tee up and off over Jen’s head, exposing her to the cool air of the room and Judy’s appraising gaze. </p><p>“Shit, Jen”</p><p>For a moment Jen’s stomach seizes and she panics that it’s a reaction to the puckered pink scarring and imperfect skin on display, until she realizes the look on Judy’s face is hungry. Brown eyes skirt across hipbones, over the smooth planes of Jen’s stomach, across her reconstructed tits that Ted so loathed. And Judy looks like she wants to devour Jen. </p><p>“You’re so hot it’s kind of dumb.”</p><p>Jen laughs breathlessly. Surprised. Oh yeah, this is exactly what she needed. </p><p>Judy uses her mouth to quite skillfully demonstrate to Jen how much she appreciates her chest; lips and fingers tracing almost reverently across the scars marring her skin. Jen thinks she must have gone minutes without breathing, afraid to break the stillness of the moment or draw any attention away from what Judy’s doing. The feeling is physical and raw even with her obliterated nerve endings and Jen tries not to let on how embarrassingly wet she’s getting. </p><p>But then Judy works a knee between Jen’s thighs and starts pressing hard against her center while kissing her with barely concealed lust. Jen feels a wave of heat crash over her body as she relishes the sticky heat of their mingling breaths, the electric anticipation of what’s to come. </p><p>Oh Jesus Christ she's missed this.</p><p>Within minutes Jen is helping Judy peel off her pajama pants and encouraging her fingers past the waistband of her black panties. Jen swears she hears a whimper when Judy’s fingertips first encounter the deluge between Jen’s legs, one that’s quickly echoed by an exaggerated exhale from Jen as those fingertips slide more surely through her wetness. Moments later and there’s one finger inside of her, then two. And - fuck - Judy’s sliding them in and out and Jen nearly loses it, barely managing to curb all but a muffled whine. </p><p>“You said no holding back. Let me hear you Jen.”</p><p>Judy’s husky bedroom voice, still so new and so fucking arousing, is all she needs to hear to let go of her hesitancy. Jen lets herself react with Judy’s next thrust, her vocal cry offered up to the ceiling in praise of the fingers now curling inside of her. Her reaction sparks something in Judy because her next thrust is harder, intentional, an experiment to see what kind of sounds Jen will make for her. </p><p>“Ah!” Jen keens with each forceful thrust, as turned on by seeing Judy like this as she is by what’s being done to her body. She digs her nails into Judy’s shoulders, so fucking far beyond caring if she leaves marks. She needs Judy to feel some semblance of what she’s feeling. This need to mark, to <em> own </em>. At the thought of seeing possessive scratches left by her nails on Judy’s back while she cooks the family breakfast in the morning, Jen can feel herself start to unravel a bit. </p><p>Determined to extort every last filthy sound from the older woman’s mouth, Judy adds a third finger and digs the heel of her hand hard into Jen’s clit. Jen cries out Judy’s name interspersed with some choice curse words, whimpers wrung from her throat with each stroke of the fingers inside her.</p><p>
  <em> Fuck, Judy. Fuck me, Judy. Fuck me! Judy! Jude!  </em>
</p><p>Jen vocalizes incessantly, rolling her hips to meet Judy’s hand hard while Judy leaves messy open-mouthed kisses on her scarred breasts and rocks her own hips against the back of her hand. With one last hard press of Judy’s fingers against the swollen spot inside of her, Jen comes in a wet flood, wantonly bucking and dripping while Judy wrings a final agonized cry from her throat. </p><p>Jen floats in space for a moment, ears ringing and heart pounding behind her heaving ribs as she tries to make her way back to earth. </p><p>“Oh my god. That was so hot. You’re so hot.” Judy marvels as she slowly removes her dripping fingers from Jen's legs, though not before a teasing swipe against her oversensitive clit sends Jen jerking away.</p><p>Judy grins and raises the fingers to her mouth, making deliberate eye contact as she pulls them from her lips with a clean ‘pop’. </p><p>Jen’s jaw drops open at the obscene visual. </p><p>“Oh shit, was that too much? Fuck I’m sorry I got carried away!”</p><p>“Um no, I was just a little preoccupied with the fact that you were <em> sucking my come off your fingers. </em>” Jen manages, and suddenly she needs Judy’s clothes to come off right now. </p><p>Judy blushes, as if she were the naked one bared completely for her clothed best friend. As if she hadn’t just revealed that she was secretly incredibly hot and great in bed and managed to elicit sounds from Jen she didn’t know she was capable of making. What fucking right did she have to look so innocent and embarrassed? </p><p>Jen says as much, and Judy flushes deeper, her sudden bashfulness both cute as fuck and also offering the perfect opportunity for Jen to flip her over and kiss her again. </p><p>The timidity of their first kiss is nowhere to be found. This kiss is slower, languid, drawn out and full of tongue. Jen lets her hand wander under Judy’s skirt and relishes the softness of her bare thigh. She fits one of her legs between Judy’s and presses her weight into the warmth there as Judy whimpers and breaks from the kiss. </p><p>“Jen, no. This was about you. You don’t have to.”</p><p>“Jude. Believe me, I want to.”</p><p>“Okay. I um, kind of got off when you did...” she trails off, unsure if she’s trying to discourage Jen from touching her or to head off her embarrassment over how wet she likely is. </p><p>“Judy!”</p><p>“I know, I know!” She turns her head, burying her face in a pillow in embarrassment. </p><p>Jen just smirks, enjoying turning the tables on Judy and seeing her so demure not 60 seconds after fucking Jen’s brains out. She lets her fingers trail higher, teasingly skirting between Judy’s inner and outer thigh, lifting the silky floral skirt up as she gets closer to her destination. Fingertips meet soaked black lace and Judy grabs Jen’s face to pull her into another kiss. Soon her underwear is out of the way, pulled halfway down one knee because fuck Jen if she’s going to spend any longer than necessary not actively touching Judy. </p><p>“Oh, Jesus” Jen gasps at the slickness that immediately spills onto her fingertips when she returns her hand. “You’re so wet” she whispers almost to herself, but Judy’s hanging on to every sound. </p><p>“I wasn’t fucking lying when I said you’re - oh fuck - heaven on a stick”</p><p>“Fuck Jude”</p><p>Jen had been telling herself over and over that this was purely clinical and situational. An exchange between friends to help her get over something in a way only someone she trusted like Judy could. But after feeling how turned on Judy was she can no longer deny the feelings that had been blistering underneath the surface of her consciousness. And fuck was she conscious now. She had been just as wet for Judy as Judy is for her. And Jen desperately needs to hear the noises Judy can make. She’s going to make her lose control. </p><p>“Sit up” she commands, turning around and leaning back against the headboard, beckoning Judy to sit in her lap again. </p><p>“Yes ma’am.” </p><p>Judy complies, following and straddling Jen, pulling her own shirt off. Black lacy bra cupping her breasts, skirt pushed up around her hips. She’s fucking seductive and so hot and Jen can’t believe she’s never considered her this way. </p><p>Jen can feel Judy’s wetness pressed against her own bare thigh and finally her desire bubbles over. She maneuvers her fingers back between Judy’s legs, inviting her to sink down as she pulls down a bra cup to take a nipple into her mouth. Judy moans softly as she situates herself over Jen’s fingers and lets herself drop, taking three to the hilt. </p><p>“Mmm, good-“ Jen can’t stop herself from praising Judy. Face pressed into her breasts, tongue and teeth marking as much territory as she possibly can, Jen is overwhelmed with the power she feels having Judy cede to her like this. Judy locks eyes with Jen and grabs her wrist to hold it in place while she starts moving up and down, riding her. Jen has never seen anything as delicious as her own fingers disappearing inside of Judy like this while she chases after her own pleasure. She’s not sure she can ever come back from it. </p><p>Before long Judy has her head thrown back, gasping as Jen sucks and bites at her tits while Judy grinds against her fingers sloppily. She’s losing her rhythm but she’s so close she doesn’t care. Judy bites her lip and doubles down on her rocking, hips pushing back and forth while Jen helps her along with a tight grip on her ass. It’s so hot. She’s so wet. If she were any less turned on right now she might be embarrassed at her lack of restraint, the fact that she’s coming apart like this so shamelessly and vocally for her best friend, the one she lives with and cooks breakfast for every day. But - fuck - it just serves to turn her on further, </p><p>“Jen, will you - fuck -“ she loses her train of thought for a moment, so consumed with the feelings elicited by Jen’s stupidly talented fingers. “Just, talk to me? Please?” </p><p>Jen feels a new bolt of desire travel through her own body and settle in her stomach. Despite her earlier request she had still been holding back, knowing that she and Judy would need to still be able to look at each other after this. </p><p>But if Judy wanted dirty talk then she was going to get it. </p><p>“You want me to talk? What do you want me to say, hm? Want me to tell you how fucking hot you look right now?” </p><p>“Yeah that’s a - mm - a good start” Judy laughs but it’s quickly eclipsed by a grunt as Jen puts a little more force behind her next thrust, toying with Judy. </p><p>“Can you hear how wet you are - for me?” Jen queries, tacking that last bit on despite knowing full well that she’s toeing the line of appropriateness here. </p><p>Judy can - the sound is obscene and it fills the room along with her frenzied panting. Jen’s voice at this point is deep and unbearably seductive and it’s doing exactly what she hoped it would for her. Jen smirks at Judy’s reaction and doubles down on her commitment to not hold back. </p><p>“You gonna be a good girl and come for me, Jude?” She plies, knowing full well Judy doesn’t have access to her vocabulary right now.</p><p>Judy whimpers. The nickname alone is nearly enough to send her into the abyss - she’s hanging on by the thinnest strand, trying to keep a tenuous grasp on the last little bit of control she has left. She needs to draw this out as long as possible. But she also needs to hear Jen call her a good girl in that voice again and those two things are definitely mutually exclusive. </p><p>“Oh, you like that?” Of course Jen noticed. “Good girl, Jude. Come for me, baby.” Jen thumbs Judy’s nipple casually while watching her face. She looks smug. Judy loses it. She comes quietly and all at once, bottom lip trapped between her teeth and harsh breaths forced through her nose while Jen’s fingers bottom out inside of her. </p><p>“J- fuck. Jen. Oh my god.” </p><p>Judy grabs Jen’s face and pulls it to hers, kissing her messily while Jen uses her fingers to draw the last shudders of pleasure from Judy’s body. They collapse back into the pillows together, Judy’s head nestled below Jen’s chin, fingers playing on her chest in a way that doesn’t make Jen’s stomach clench in fear anymore. </p><p>Judy breaks the silence first. </p><p>“Was that better than a glory hole?” </p><p>Jen throws her head back as she breaks into full, pealing laughter. </p><p>“Oh honey. You are <em> so </em>much better than a glory hole.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>look I don't usually write smut (this is my second time idk) but like, there's so little of it in this fandom I kind of had to? hope it was decent!</p><p>comments are everything to me - I would love if you let me know your thoughts!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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